The Kim Soo-Hyun Controversy: What Happened & How We Project Our Deepest Desires

Yes, we need to discuss this, but not in the way you'd expect, dear K-drama fans.

If you love Korean dramas and never miss any news - or gossip - regarding this universe, then you know that Kim Soo-Hyun, the actor, has recently been the talk of the town, or rather, the internet. Several websites, including X (formerly known as Twitter) and many news outlets, have been discussing this case.

By the way, even if you don't know anything about K-dramas, you've probably heard something about a famous Korean actor being cancelled or something of the sort. But you must have been asking yourself, who is that person, why are we discussing him, and why should I care?

Basically, he is one of the most famous and well-paid actors, models, and singers in South Korea. Born on February 16th, 1988, Kim Soo-Hyun became an actor in 2007. He became even more popular in 2011 when he played a farmer who became a musical genius in the teen K-drama "Dream High". However, Kim was the only actor in the entire cast who had no experience with K-pop, that is, Korean Pop Music, which is known for its unique visual elements, and group dances. As Kim didn't have experience in this area, he decided to study hard before he recorded the "Dream High" soundtrack and his solo track, "Dreaming".

His popularity hit its peak when he starred in the K-drama Moon Embracing the Sun, a period drama. In this production, he played a fictitious king from the Joseon dynasty. From then on, his career took off, and he won the title of Best Drama Actor in 2012 at the Baeksang Arts Awards.

In February 2025, actress Kim Sae-ron, aged 24, was found dead in her Seoul apartment, in an apparent suicide. This tragedy happened on Kim Soo-hyun's birthday, which made it even more tragic. A bit later, a few rumors started popping up. According to these rumors, Kim Sae-ron and Kim Soo-hyun had been in a relationship since 2015, when Sae-ron was 15, and Soo-hyun 27.

And, if that wasn't enough, a few weeks ago, Sae-ron's family came to the public with several pictures and messages, stating the two actors had been in a 6-year relationship that started when she was a minor.

Which, considering the already terrible circumstances, tainted Kim Soo-hyun's public image even more.

Kim Soo-hyun and his company, Gold Medalist, decided to answer this by denying all accusations that he had been in a relationship with a minor. However, after more evidence from Sae-ron's family came to light, Soo-hyun and his team admitted that the two of them dated, but only between 2019 and 2020, when Sae-ron was older.

Soo-hyun also orchestrated a press conference where he cried and denied any involvement with Sae-ron's death. Finally, he announced he would be taking legal action against the ones responsible for these allegations.

In any case, this controversy significantly impacted Kim Soo-hyun's career. Brands like Prada broke their contracts with him, some of his events were cancelled, and other projects, like the premiere of "Knock-Off", another drama series, were pushed off. Even his appearances were reduced.

However, though this story itself was already reason enough for the authorities, gossip channels, and anyone interested to investigate and/or cancel Kim Soo-hyun, that's not what we want to discuss today. I want to discuss Kim Soo-hyun, yes, but not just him - I want to explore how people are projecting themselves onto him.

In psychology, particularly psychoanalysis, transference is when a person projects unconscious feelings, desires, or expectations that originally belonged to other important figures (usually from childhood) onto others. And this often happens when we start liking a public figure, like an actor from a TV show, movie, and K-drama, or even influencers from YouTube, for instance, as well as from other media.

Because we live in a world that buries us with frustrations and hardships, we throw all our expectations on other objects of desire and consumer products.

And that's where the Kim Soo-hyun controversy comes along, as well as the K-drama community, who split apart into two sides when they heard this story.

Folks on X are asking for his head, his arrest, and everything the legal system can use to punish him, which, honestly, according to South Korean law, is probably not that punishing.

On Instagram, however, fans are looking at the entire case through rose-colored glasses and focusing on the fact he is beautiful. As such, he should be innocent, in their minds.

And both, please note, are projecting.

The "couch-warriors" ask for his head, but don't know anything about South Korean law and the investigation behind this entire case, and, as such, don't know the truth or have the evidence to support their stance. And the fans who project onto this actor the figure of a prince charming that is just like his characters and can't make mistakes can't see that he isn't as perfect as his expressions and facial features.

Part of the K-drama community often forgets that the TV shows they consume are products, and are not, and will never be, an accurate representation of Korea.

They sell to us a sort of romantic dream that we all love to consume. Particularly if you're tired of over-the-top Hollywood propaganda, that is, productions that feature overwhelming passion and entire couples forming in the first 10 minutes of the show. And the scenes! Private bits thrown onto your face unexpectedly (I'm talking about you, HBO!). Women so strong that they aren't even feminine anymore, or that don't need men for anything. They all also say this to anyone who will listen so intensely and frequently that they make us die of boredom.

No. Romantic K-dramas are a breath of fresh air, everything happens in its time, calmly, peacefully. We get to know the characters, their families, their issues, their doubts. Everything is so slow we cheer a simple gesture, like one hand touching another, a short glance, or a soft pluck on the lips.

And we're not ashamed of it. K-dramas brought back a certain type of romance that we lost in the last couple of years. However, it also brought back projection. The type of projection that leads you to believe the actor in question is as unreachable as the prince he plays, and he's perfect.

And, spoiler alert, he isn't.

South Korean culture is sexist. This is a country where women, for instance, earn a third of what men do. And, until the 80s, physical and sexual assault against women were so common that they didn't even have terms to refer to it.

So, no... Korea is not as perfect as K-drama paints it to be, just like other countries aren't the idealized versions we see on other TV shows.

We need to be careful. We can't mistake reality for fiction to deem someone innocent or guilty. In real life, that can be costly. So, when we discuss Kim Soo-hyun, we are actually looking in the mirror as well.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying a stress-free romance, or loving that prince charming, the king, the romantic CEO, the K-drama stud. Just keep in mind that none of it is real, and, as such, everyone, famous or anonymous, is human, with their own flaws and virtues. You might be cancelling or destroying an innocent man's career, or finding excuses for a terrible human being who committed heinous crimes.

What about you, have you once caught yourself projecting your desires and frustrations onto someone famous? Do you still do it, or have you left this habit in your teen or childhood years? Tell us everything in our comment section below.